I miss being close to my family and Seth’s family, especially at such a pivotal time in our lives. It would be so fun to go maternity and baby shopping with my sisters. It would be so exciting for everyone to get to witness the milestones of the baby’s growth and development in person.
I dream about starting the “nesting” process by preparing an adorable nursery for our little guy or gal adorned with cutesy baby things. I have been trying to let go of that dream since I figure it’s pretty much impossible seeing that we live in Korea, have no home of our own in the States, have no jobs, and have little time to purchase all the equipment necessary.
I continuously long for the delicious American food on my ever growing list! This list may seem bizarre, but some of these cravings are pregnancy cravings and others are just homesick cravings (what a great combination).
I want . . .
a carnitas burrito from Chipolte, avocado, limes, Mom's roast beef dinner, American garlic bread (no honey please), garlic pasta, dill pickle chips, salt and vinegar chips, McDonald's breakfast, orange juice, tuna (I don't usually like tuna), Spaghettios, cranberry juice, cheese balls, Cheetos, a 99cent hard shell taco from Taco Bell, Mom’s chicken and rice casserole, green bean casserole, normal American pizza (no ketchup, seafood, corn, or sweet potatoes thank you very much), potato soup, chili (that’s not sweet), Mom’s cabbage rolls, meatballs and gravy, ham and cheesy potatoes, Big Bowl Asian Kitchen, gravy and biscuits, corndogs (that aren’t sweet), cheese curds, bread sticks, a Panera bread bowl with french onion or chicken wild rice soup, Key’s Café, Olive Garden, sauerkraut, real bratwursts . . . I’m sure I’m forgetting something!
I wish I could have prenatal care in the States because I believe it would be more thorough, informative, and personal. I would have the ability and comfort of talking to my obstetrician or midwife about detailed personal pregnancy issues. I would know where, in what conditions, and with whom I will be delivering the baby. We will have approximately 1 1/2 months when we get back to get acquainted with a doctor/midwife and register for and take birthing classes.
Lastly, we wouldn’t have to worry about things like flying around the world at 33 weeks pregnant, not having insurance, etc.
That’s a lot of complaining I just did, but those are my feelings and struggles. Now, let me share with you how God is using those feelings and struggles to draw me closer to Him.
Although preparing to be parents in Korea has been double challenging, it has also been a double blessing. We are learning and growing in completely different ways than we would have in the States. God often makes it evident to me why I am pregnant in Korea and not the USA like I would prefer, and I can clearly see the ways in which this Korean pregnancy is glorifying God and helping Seth and I to understand God’s character and provision more.
I am learning to have faith and peace in the fact that God will provide a place for us to live and provisions for our baby no matter what shape or form they take. I am working on knowing that having our own home and nursery for our baby will in no way make his/her life and future better. What matters is not where we live but how we live. What matters is not our home on this earth but our home for eternity. I’m trying to remind myself that this is a temporary stay and that our real home is in Heaven living as heirs to God’s promise. I’m also so grateful that God has given us so much family who love us, want us home, and are eager to share their homes with us.
Like many people, the plan that Seth and I had/have for our future involved success and comfort. God is teaching us how to live for Him without all of the comforts that we desire and without the worldly success we both predicted we’d have before having children.
When I reflect on our trip to Kenya, I’m constantly reminded that so many women (in both the past and present) have had children in conditions much less comfortable then what my own will be.
God has also used our time in Korea to bless us financially. Although we don’t have much money in savings, we will have all of our debt paid off before we leave Korea that includes a car loan and student loans for two people!
We celebrated our four year anniversary last weekend by relaxing in a classy hotel near the beach in Busan. We enjoyed room service, breakfast in bed, sunbathing and reading on the beach, eating western food, and just talking. It was amazing to have no plans and to just do whatever we wanted together.
I was so shocked and excited to feel Baby Schuett moving around during our anniversary trip! I liken the feeling to someone flicking you from the inside. If the kick is strong enough, I can feel it when I rest my hands on my stomach. The baby has a pattern. When I lie down to go to sleep and switch from my side to my back, he usually moves around. We’ve attempted to get the baby to “perform” for Seth, and he thinks he may have felt him, but nothing to definitive yet. I tease Seth that Baby Schuett isn’t to sure of him yet :)
Feeling those gentle kicks for the first time brought on a whole new wave of emotions. The movement affirms that I have a precious life inside me and makes me increasingly excited to meet him/her. However, it also reminds me of the responsibility of having someone completely dependent on me for life.
This weekend my friends from Korea are throwing me a baby shower! I’m excited to just spend time with these ladies celebrating Baby Schuett. I’d like to give a big THANK YOU to Pam for blessing Baby Schuett and me in this way!